Funny Stories from the Mountains: Driving to Florida

At Mountain Peeks we hear many humorous stories from readers about bizarre or funny things that have happened to them or members of their family; things that are so odd they have to be true because no one could make them up. Here is the first one we received. Send your best funny story for us to consider publishing in future issues.

Driving to Florida

In the 1980s, a gentleman from Southwest Virginia decided to take his wife and kids to Florida for the first time to see the ocean and hunt sea shells. Everyone was very excited. They loaded up the pickup, hooked a tag-a-long camper to the rear bumper, and took off. The husband drove until he got to central Georgia and decided to take a break. He pulled over and asked his wife to take over while he went back in the camper to take a nap.

Mountain Peeks File PhotoHe climbed into the little camper, stripped down to his shorts, and promptly fell asleep on a small cot. His wife drove for about an hour but had to stop abruptly at an intersection due to traffic. This sudden stop awoke her husband, who stood up at the door of the camper and opened it so he could see what was going on. His wife pulled out quickly and swerved sharply to avoid another vehicle, and this caused her husband to pitch through the open camper door and fall to the side of the road. He jumped up, his hands and knees bleeding from the impact, and yelled for her as she drove away. He then ran barefoot on the hot hard top trying to catch up, but she was going too fast. He stood by the roadside, very dejected, and then realized he only had on his Hanes shorts. He had no money and did not dare go into a store to ask for help, so he did what any mountain man would do. He started walking toward Florida.

After a few cars went by honking as the occupants waved and laughed at him, a car pulled over to help. Inside were three gloriously drunk Georgia boys who thought that any man who would walk barefoot in the summer along the road with nothing on but his undershorts would be someone they needed to talk to. They also concluded that he was not carrying a gun. The driver was the most inebriated of the bunch, and when he heard the man’s story he allowed that he could catch his family since they only had about a thirty minute head start.

The rusted LTD weaved from ditchline to ditchline as the old car got up to 90 miles an hour, with the gentleman from Southwest Virginia begging for them to stop and let him out. Soon a police car came barreling up behind them, lights flashing and siren blaring. The drunk driver finally pulled over, and two officers jumped out with their guns drawn.

They chewed on the driver for a few minutes for trying to outrun them, then spied the near-naked Virginian. “Son, what in the world are you doing back there in your drawers?” the biggest officer asked.

The husband tried to explain the situation but soon found himself in jail with his new buddies. Finally, he was able to convince the police to call the sheriff’s office back home to vouch for him, which they did. The police then radioed ahead to have other officers on the lookout for the Virginia pickup with the tag-a-long camper. Before long, they pulled over the wife in southern Georgia and asked her if she knew where her husband might be. She said “He’s back in that camper sleeping I reckon, what has he done wrong this time?” A few hours later they were reunited and went on to have a big time in Florida. Most importantly, they came home with the best possible souvenir from a family trip: a great story to tell for years to come!